The new signs picured around the Wembeley dressing rooms aren't helping Kev to choose the squad in order to qualify. The one pictuered is    believed to be the real reason for Gazza's non selection

The actual reasons for Stuart playing were released only to certain friends of the club i.e. us. When this info was released to us and only us we were sworn to secrecy so if you really want to know then send me an e-mail with your address and we will reply.

Last night in a conference meeting Kev said, and we fear he was being seriuos, that after watching numourus episodes of the great TV show South Park he has decided to play the 8 year alongside Shearer and Sutton, and I quote'He will be a major role in the new formation, this also means that I will have to drop the          Liverpoool centre forwards' (arrh Shame).